HMIME Chapter 15: The Cat is a trouble maker

Bai Lu glanced outside the window and asked in confusion, “What’s that noise outside?”

The Eunuch wang sighed helplessly and said, “It’s probably Bi Tao and Ming Si arguing again. Every first day of the month, they come here to collect the monthly allowance for their mistress, and they always end up arguing like this.”

“Their mistress?” Bai Lu inquired.

“Their mistresses are the two noble consorts in the harem. Bi Tao is the head palace maid in Consort Mei’s palace, while Ming Si is the personal maid to Consort Wen. Because Consort Wen receives an extra one hundred taels in her monthly allowance compared to Consort Mei, Bi Tao feels unjust on behalf of her mistress.”

Bai Lu was utterly confused. “If they’re both consorts, why don’t they receive the same monthly allowance?”

Just as he asked, another voice, obviously Ming Si, came from the adjacent room. She spoke logically, “Our Lady Wen is responsible for managing the harem and works tirelessly every day. His Majesty understands her efforts and thus provides an additional one hundred taels as a reward. Are you implying that His Majesty’s intentions are questionable?”

Bi Tao was speechless for a moment. Her face turned as red as peach blossoms in spring. She stammered for a while before finally managing to say, “Well…then why does Consort Mei, who also works hard for the harem, only receive six hundred and sixty taels in monthly allowance?”

Bai Lu found this figure oddly familiar. The Eunuch Wang timely explained, “Originally, the monthly allowance for consorts was six hundred taels. Later, an additional sixty taels were added as a cosmetic allowance, rounding the sum to an auspicious number, just for good luck.”

Bai Lu thought to himself, “So that’s how it is.” He had been wondering why the monthly allowance had both whole numbers and fractions. It turned out to be the standard for consorts in the harem.

That damned Chu Ya, first tricking him into sitting in the Empress’s reserved seat and now giving him the allowance for consorts. Did he really want Bai Lu to become another man in the harem? How absurd!

Ming Si, the quiet but sharp-tongued one, spoke up again, “Bi Tao, I’m afraid you’ve caught some strange illness lately. How come you’re so confused? Consort Mei has never worried about harem affairs. Whether it’s the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Lantern Festival, or the Double Ninth Festival, all the major and minor celebrations are managed by Lady Wen.”

Listening to the argument between the two maids was far more interesting than watching men fight. Bai Lu immediately stepped out, stood by the window of the adjacent room, and tiptoed to peek inside, wanting to see what these sharp-tongued girls looked like.

Inside, there were two girls facing each other. One had a lively double bun hairstyle with two velvet peach blossoms pinned on top. She wore a pink and white plain silk dress. The other girl had her hair twisted into three braids, which were then combined together. She wore a smoke-gray gauze robe.

This was not the uniform appearance of palace maids. Bai Lu guessed that these were the personal maids of the consorts and had special privileges in their attire.

He eavesdropped by the window sill, and Ling Feng stood behind him like a silent ghost, making no attempt to stop him.

Ling Feng was a competent guard. Since he had been ordered to protect Bai Lu, even if Bai Lu was just eavesdropping, or even if he were to rush in and argue with them, turning a duel into a triangular battle, Ling Feng would simply pretend not to see.

Bi Tao couldn’t stand her ground. “Every time there’s a festival, hasn’t Consort Mei always been present? Has she ever missed one?”

Ming Si smiled, “Yes, every time there’s a festival, Consort Mei waits until everything is prepared everywhere before dressing up and making a graceful appearance. But during the planning and preparation by Lady Wen, have we ever seen Consort Mei even once?”

Before Bi Tao could retort, Ming Si continued, “I suppose Consort Mei prefers to dress herself up. It’s said she often wears flashy clothes and somehow manages to pass by His Majesty’s path to court every day. I wonder what she’s up to?”

Bai Lu was dumbfounded. “Impressive, impressive. So this is the legendary harem struggle? The maids of the two consorts argue so fiercely. If the legendary Consort Mei and Consort Wen were to meet, would it not be earth-shattering?”

Just as Bai Lu was marveling, the door next to him creaked open and swung violently to both sides, nearly hitting Bai Lu’s shoulder. Fortunately, Ling Feng reached out in time to stop it.

Bi Tao stormed out, her thin eyebrows twisted, glaring fiercely at Bai Lu, not saying a word, and then stormed off.

A few seconds later, Ming Si walked out with a bamboo woven square basket, politely bowed to Bai Lu, and left.

Bai Lu watched them leave, lost in thought. Then he turned to Ling Feng and said, “Take my things back for me. I need to go somewhere.”

Ling Feng remained unfazed. “His Majesty ordered me to stay by your side at all times.”

“…Even when I take a bath?”

Ling Feng’s ears turned red silently. He averted his gaze, pretending not to hear, and began his adept skill – pretending to be deaf and dumb.

Bai Lu sighed and glanced at him. “You can go back for now. I won’t cause any trouble.”

Ling Feng refused to budge. “This is His Majesty’s order. I cannot…”

“His Majesty doesn’t care. Besides, he’s in court right now and won’t know.”

Ling Feng fell silent but didn’t leave either, just following Bai Lu at a distance.

Bai Lu was at his wit’s end. He couldn’t fight back, so what could he do? He found a young eunuch and had him take the box of silver back, then headed westward.

He walked west for five or six hundred meters and reached the Wardrobe Department.

Before entering the palace, Bai Lu had heard palace maids mention that the Wardrobe Department was a branch of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, specifically responsible for managing the masters’ clothes. But it wasn’t just about storing clothes; the people in the Wardrobe Department had to take out the clothes regularly for cleaning, airing, ironing, and even fragrance with delicate incense. They also had to check if the expensive embroideries on the clothes were damaged, so they could repair or replace them in time.

In short, it was a busy place. Bai Lu speculated that the clothes he wore when he entered the palace, as well as the sachet containing poison, were also placed there.

The people in the Wardrobe Department were so diligent that there might be a little palace maid who would unpack his sachet someday. Before anything happened, Bai Lu decided to secretly retrieve the sachet and bury it somewhere.

The Wardrobe Department was a beautiful three-story embroidered building, with a dozen or so tall clothes racks in the courtyard behind, where various thin silk clothes fluttered in the breeze.

As soon as Bai Lu entered, he saw several palace maids holding what looked like iron spoons, with heat-insulated wooden handles, and boat-shaped iron spoons filled with burning charcoal. The bottom was flat, resembling some kind of terrifying instrument of torture, but in reality, it was a clothes iron.

They were carefully ironing a cloud-sleeve golden silk smoke robe on the table, which looked quite valuable, probably the clothes of some consort in the harem.

Seeing Bai Lu coming in, one of the palace maids in red raised her head, “Who is the gentleman?”

Bai Lu hurriedly said, “Oh, I’m the Qin Shi who entered the palace a few days ago…the musician of Wangyuelou. Are my clothes here?”

“It’s Bai Gongzi indeed. We’ve kept your clothes safe. Please wait a moment.”

The palace maid in red turned her head and said to the girl next to her, “Xiao Yue, go to the closet and find Bai Gongzi’s clothes.”

Xiao Yue agreed and was about to put down the iron, when suddenly a sparrow flew in through the window. Flapping its wings, it flew over Xiao Yue’s head, and immediately afterward, Bai Lu saw a bright orange figure darting over and crashing into Xiao Yue’s arm.

This figure was heavy and plump. It knocked Xiao Yue off balance and flipped the iron she was holding. Several pieces of charcoal, emitting sparks, flew out, heading straight for Xiao Yue’s hand.

If she had been hit, she would probably have burnt off a layer of skin. Xiao Yue was pale with fright, her eyes wide open, her body almost frozen.

Thanks to Bai Lu’s training in his previous life, his reflexes were still intact. He quickly grabbed Xiao Yue’s arm and pulled her back, avoiding the pieces of charcoal, thus averting disaster.

Xiao Yue stood dumbfounded, her eyes wide open. Bai Lu breathed a sigh of relief and turned his head, only to see that the pieces of charcoal had landed not on Xiao Yue’s hand but on the clothes. The fabric of the golden silk robe was very thin, and as soon as it touched the sparks, it instantly caught fire and began to burn.

Bai Lu didn’t pay much attention; it was just a piece of clothing. If it got burnt, it could be replaced. It was better than burning a person.

But the palace maids were all pale, terrified as if the sky were falling.