HMIME Chapter 19: Remove the Surveillance

Sir is pregnant… Sir is pregnant… Sir is pregnant…

Five earth-shattering words reverberated through Geng Qing’s mind as though broadcasted in high-definition surround sound.

Geng Qing stood frozen for a good five seconds before finally managing to say, “Do you know what you just said?”

“Sir is pregnant, for real.”

Bai Lu carefully felt Sir Orange’s belly, gently pressing with his fingers. “I thought it was just fat, turns out there are little kittens inside. She’s a female cat.”

Geng Qing: “?! ”

With a face flatter than its own head, eyes half-closed due to the plumpness, and a ferocious expression like it was owed some money, Sir Orange turned out to be female?! This was like seeing a girl who’s eight feet tall, all muscular with a full beard.

Bai Lu said, “When Sir gives birth, can I give you two?”

Geng Qing hastily waved his hands, “No, no. Just the thought of this bunch of young masters makes me nervous all over.”

Bai Lu pursed his lips, “Forget it then, I’ll raise them myself. They’re actually quite cute.”

Geng Qing glanced nervously at the fierce expression of Sir Orange and felt like he was seeing the Yama King of the cat world, estimating a lifespan shortened by three years. Did Bai Lu have some problem with his sense of aesthetics?

Bai Lu let go of the cat, and Sir Orange immediately turned around, rubbing his fluffy head against Bai Lu’s leg, flicking his tail enticingly, then dragging his fat body swaggeringly into the house. He laid down on the cotton pad in the cat house that the carpenter had just made, squinting his eyes and yawning.

Bai Lu yawned too, slightly infected, and lazily said to Geng Qing, “By the way, are you off today? Can you take me to your dormitory?”

Geng Qing was puzzled, “Dormitory? Oh, you mean the barracks of the guards. Why do you want to go there?”

Bai Lu smiled mysteriously, “Just want to know more about employee benefits in advance.”

“What benefits?”

Geng Qing was bewildered. Sometimes he doubted whether Bai Lu was really a normal human being. How come every word he said made sense individually, but when put together, he couldn’t understand?

Anyway, since he had nothing else to do, Geng Qing took Bai Lu to the guards’ barracks.

However, as they left the White Deer Palace, Geng Qing felt a chill behind him all the way, as if someone’s lingering spirit was following them.

Geng Qing rubbed his hands, feeling uneasy. “Brother, why do I feel a chill behind me? It’s like someone is staring at us from the shadows…”

Bai Lu remained unchanged, “Oh, that’s Ling Feng. I’ve gotten used to it.”

Previously, he had a ‘friendly and equal’ conversation with Ling Feng once, expressing that he neither needed nor liked being followed everywhere. Being friends occasionally was fine, but if he continued to tail him, whether it was at the Emperor’s orders or for any other reason, he would retaliate every time he saw him!

Then Ling Feng switched from being a Ming Wei (visible guard) to an An Wei (invisible guard). Bai Lu hadn’t seen him once, but occasionally he could still feel the indifferent gaze emanating from the corner.

Geng Qing sighed and patted Bai Lu’s shoulder, “You’re not having an easy time either. The Emperor’s favor isn’t something everyone can endure.”

Bai Lu said woodenly, “I’d rather be a stand-in now.”

So, seemingly two people but actually three, they arrived at the guards’ barracks together.

The guards’ barracks were shaped like the character “回” (meaning ‘return’), with a large training ground in the middle, surrounded by two circles of neat brick houses with blue tiles and red walls, each with its own courtyard planted with flowers and grass, and fish tanks with goldfish.

The houses next to the training ground were for first-class guards. After entering Geng Qing’s house, there was a small hall with a small tea table and two Grand Master chairs, and a bookshelf against the wall with some vases and wood carvings, as well as some folded Xuan paper, showing traces of what seemed to be a complicated military formation drawn with ink.

Further inside was the bedroom, with a bunk bed, an octagonal table, a few chairs, a wardrobe, all standard but decent furnishings for a barracks.

However, this was only for first-class guards. Second and third-class guards didn’t have such good treatment, basically living with two or four people in a room.

The guards on duty had their own residences in the palace, so they didn’t live here.

Bai Lu keenly noticed a row of wooden plaques on the wall, palm-sized, engraved with several large characters.

Pointing to them, Bai Lu asked, “What are these?”

Geng Qing glanced at them, “Oh, those are rest days plaques. Since I’m the guard captain, if the subordinates have a rest day and want to leave the palace, they come to me to exchange their waist plaques for rest day plaques, and with these plaques, they can leave the palace.”

Bai Lu seemed thoughtful for a moment, then tentatively asked, “With these, won’t the palace guards stop them?”

“Of course not. Guards have two days off per month, which are meant for going home.”

Bai Lu silently stared at the row of plaques on the wall, as if calculating something.

Seeing his serious expression, Geng Qing became alarmed and said, “Oh my, if you’re thinking of sneaking one of these plaques and quietly taking away someone’s guard uniform, then slipping out of the palace when the Emperor isn’t paying attention, pretending to be a guard on leave, I’ll be dead!”

Bai Lu: “…”

—If you don’t want to die, quickly remove the surveillance installed in my brain. Otherwise, I’ll come over and beat you up through the network cable!

Bai Lu remained calm, but in reality, his secret was accurately exposed by the other party. After being stunned for a few seconds, he then nervously denied, “I didn’t think about it like that. Can’t you stop suspecting me just because I have a criminal record?”

“It’s not that I want to suspect you, it’s just that I’m very afraid of death. If I let you escape because of my negligence, the Emperor will kill me!”

Bai Lu glanced at him, “Didn’t you say you were on my side before?”

Geng Qing chuckled awkwardly, embarrassed, “Uh, uh, standing on your side… under the premise of preserving my life…”

Just then, Bai Lu suddenly heard a light and agile footstep outside, followed by a soft female voice, “Young Master Bai, are you here?”

Bai Lu pushed the door open to see a slender girl standing in the courtyard, carrying a light yellow bamboo basket on her arm.

Bai Lu tried to identify her, “Ah, you’re the one from that day… Little Yue?”

“…Forgive me, Young Master. My name is Xiaoyue.”

“Alright, Xiaoyue, what brings you here?”

“That day, Young Master saved me from Noble Consort Meigui’s clutches. I am very grateful and wanted to thank you. The guard at the door said you were here.”

Xiaoyue opened the basket somewhat nervously, “I made some pastries, my skills are poor, not as good as the palace chefs, but if you don’t mind, please taste them.”

Bai Lu glanced into the basket, where a dozen or so pieces of pastries were neatly arranged. They didn’t look as delicate as the ones usually eaten, but they smelled quite fragrant.

He picked up a green bean cake and was about to put it into his mouth when suddenly a strong and powerful arm reached out from behind him, grabbing his wrist accurately.

Ling Feng had appeared in the courtyard without a sound, his face cold as he said, “You cannot eat food of unknown origin. It’s the Emperor’s order.”

Bai Lu felt puzzled, “Why can’t I eat? Could there be poison inside?”

As he spoke, he seemed to suddenly realize something and loosened his grip on the green bean cake.

Chu Ya had warned him, and he had also considered it. After all, this was not a safe modern society. The palace was full of dangers, with visible dangers easy to dodge but invisible ones hard to guard against. Plus, there wasn’t a doctor who could perform surgery, let alone a gastric lavage technique. It was better to be cautious.

But rejecting the goodwill of Xiaoyue so directly, even Bai Lu, who had never had a girlfriend, felt a bit cruel.

However, Ling Feng didn’t have a soft spot in his brain at all. Bai Lu even suspected that he couldn’t tell men from women. With a lift of his hand, he closed the basket with a snap and said coldly, “Take it back.”

Xiaoyue was frightened and stepped back, stumbling over her words, “Y-Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t consider it carefully. Young Master, please forgive me.”

Bai Lu had to step forward to mediate, “Alright, alright. You don’t need to be so fierce to a young girl. Xiaoyue, I understand your intentions. In fact, I also feel a little uncomfortable with Consort Mei Gui. Saving you was just a side thing, don’t worry about it.”

Xiaoyue was stunned for a moment, then lowered her head again, whispering, “I understand, Young Master.”